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There are tears that are engraved in the memory of this painting. For weeks I questioned my very existence. There would be days where I would just feel so overwhelmed with being a mom, a wife, a friend, and a business owner. My life has been going well but yet I felt sad. It was a wave of sadness that I couldn’t explain, not sure if it was postpartum (from my most recent baby), over stimulation, or just a bad moment. I couldn’t shake it, this feeling just hung over me. I sat in my art studio in this mood just praying God would relieve me from this feeling. Instead he guided me to paint. It started as a green background that I previously painted on a facebook live video. I stared at the random green for a few moments. I could hear God just tell me, “paint.” So I did. I saw this image in my head and I tried my best to get it to the canvas. Honestly I cried the whole time, trying to see past the tears and paint. My mind kept replaying the footage of all the things that didn’t go right. I kept painting. Mid way through I almost gave up. I kept focusing on the tiny details getting frustrated at the process. I finally took a moment and stepped back. I sat there just staring at it. It was God who then spoke to me and said, “ You are seen. I see you. You matter to me!” These were the flowers God gave me. He new what I needed at that moment. Today I share these flowers with you for the moments where you feel sad, and no one sees you. I know it is hard doing the right things and feeling that you don’t see results of your good deeds in private. God sees you and He is with you!


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